Waiting

Today's lesson in Relief Society was about waiting on the Lord. We talked about having patience and faith in the Lord's timing while hoping so desperately for a specific thing to happen in our lives. The whole hour, I wanted so badly to raise my hand and comment about my most recent experience with waiting; to stand up tall and pontificate about the wonderfulness and the despair that comes with waiting. I wanted people to see that I had a trial that was very hard for me, and I feel like I learned to endure it with faith and grace. After all, my trial was literally to wait. In waiting for a missionary, I put on hold a temple marriage, children, and a more comfortable life (because he has yet to start college). I'm a pro at waiting! I was the perfect example of waiting! So why did the Spirit stop me from raising my hand and sharing my story?

I don't really know. But I have a guess.

Because my story of waiting, no matter hard it was for me, was not that hard.

Standing up and sharing my story of literally waiting for a missionary while others are quietly waiting for children to bless their homes, or enduring life after their spouse died, or surviving cancer, or waiting for a wayward child to return to the Gospel, seems trivial. I waited for my blessing for two years, but others wait lifetimes for theirs. 

Yes, I waited in a literal sense, and I used the Lord to get me through it. I had faith that I was doing the right thing, and I turned to God in times of doubt and weakness to lift me up. I waited on the Lord. But there are other, more significant ways to wait on Him. And supposing that my trial trumps all the other ones in the room is not fair. 

So I formulated what I would say if I were to stand up and give a speech, and then I listened to others tell their stories. 

I learned so much more by listening than by speaking.