Day 19 (Friday) - I had two ultrasound appointments with my doctor this week to see if my medication is working. On Wednesday he found cysts in my ovaries (which is consistent with my PCOS, we just hadn't done an ultrasound yet to confirm it). Today I went for another follow-up ultrasound. He said the Clomid I'm taking that spurs ovulation is kind of working, but it's not making me ovulate. So we have to change the dosage of my medication next month, and he's going to add another medication called Formera. I don't really know what Formera does now, but I'm adding it to the Clomid and the Metformin. I'm gonna have to do some research.
It sucks to pay to go see a doctor and know that I'm not pregnant. It also sucks that I have to take time off of work to go see him. He has 50 patients a day and he's so busy that I can only see him for a few minutes. But it helps me feel more in control. I know what's wrong and my doctor and I are working to actively fix it. He seemed confident that I will get pregnant someday.
I also feel really in control because I have finally taken charge of my weight. Working out is hard and it takes a lot of time and humility, but at least I'm working towards a goal. I'm pretty confident that if I can even just 10-20 lbs my chances of getting pregnant will skyrocket, which is a good feeling. It's in my hands.
Most of all, I'm trying not to get too worked up about not being pregnant. I know it will happen when it happens, and I'm trying to enjoy this time. It's a growing experience. If anything, it's a time that I can be selfish and spend 1-2 hours at the gym 3-4x a week to get smoking hot! I don't know why we have fertility issues (and I may never know) but I feel good about the place we're in right now. We're buying a house, we really enjoy taking care of our two dogs, I'm learning how to quilt and embroider, I'm teaching art lessons, I'm losing weight, and Matt has a sweet new career-level job and he's finishing up his degree. There are a lot of things to be grateful for.
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