Saturday, November 8, 2014

The Weight Loss Roller Coaster

I am like the Queen of awkward posts right now. Capital Q. It's ok, I'm embracing it. Talking about my weight journey has really helped me heal, so it's continuing.

I wanted to get a visual for all the weight yo-yoing that's been going on the past few years. Looking back my weight fluctuated so much based off of different circumstances (some bad, some good).

Why am I doing this? Because I need to remind myself that I have lost the weight before, and I can do it again. But this time I'm hoping I can keep it off.

October 2005 - Junior or Senior in high school. Thought I was fat.

September 2006 - Freshman year at BYU. Eating crappy dorm and vending machine food. Getting awful sleep.

August 2007 - Summer before Sophomore year at BYU.

September 2007 - That was a really lonely summer for me and I started eating a lot and being very sedentary.

November 2007 - My sister's wedding. Looking OK, but definitely wearing Spanx.

May 2008 - The day I got dropped off at Jacob Lake. I had gained a lot of weight over the winter. This was before I realized that I have Seasional Affective Disorder.

August 2008 - The day I got picked up from Jacob Lake. The perfect mixture of 8-hour shifts behind a grill + being too exhausted or busy to eat = a huge weight loss. I think it was about 30 lbs and I wasn't even trying.

August 2009 - My last week in Italy. I ate a lot of food while I was over there! 

November 2010 - Still up there.

March 2011 - Higher end of my weight.

September 2011 - Working at the museum. I was working out a lot by this point.

March 17, 2012 - The day Matt got home from his mission. I had worked out so hard for months to look like that.

May 2012 - Our honeymoon. I felt beautiful.

October 2012 - Hiking the narrows.

September 2012 - Family reunion.

December 2012 - I remember seeing this picture and being surprised that I looked bigger.

June 2013 - Going back up. Knowing it.

Thanksgiving 2013 - The weight is coming back. It's embarrassing to go home for the holidays.

October 1, 2014 - Day 1 of my fitness journey. At the top of the roller coaster again.

Day 34 - Feeling stronger and upbeat. I don't look super different, but I can feel it. My face feels thinner. My legs feel stronger. My pants fit looser.

One really important thing I've learned from watching The Biggest Loser is that there's always an emotional trigger to the weight gain. I've learned that I emotional eat (when I feel sad or even happy) and lose motivation to be healthy very quickly. Eating is very social for me, too. I'll go out to eat with people to hang out with them and end up overeating. I'll start to feel bad about my weight gain and fix things, then lose momentum and gain the weight again. 

I've come to realize that struggles with my weight will be here for life. I will never not love eating food. I will always have to push myself to work out and maintain a routine. I will always have to work extra hard during winter to combat the SAD. I will always have PCOS. The thing I'm learning now is that I can break the cycle by being more conscious of my decisions. I have to think long-term. 


November 17, 2014 - 8 lbs down

December 5, 2014 - I'm noticing subtle differences in my physique. I finally fit into an official size down from my previous size. My stomach is slowly getting smaller. My butt and boobs are smaller. My face has lost some chub. My legs are WAY stronger than they used to be and I can now run 4+ miles in a workout and not feel exhausted. I am eating healthier (green smoothies and more salads!). My weight has kind of plateaued since Thanksgiving but it's not stopping me.

January 20, 2015 - 17.6 lbs down

February 6, 2015 - May have gained a couple pounds while we were in Florida, but I'm not letting it stop me! 

Early March 2015 - Post-run. Plateu'd between 22-25 after a bout of the stomach flu.

March 16, 2015 - Officially 25 lbs down (a real 25, not just stomach flu 25). Back into running hardcore. Diet is suffering. Free Coke at work. Feeling good though.

April 8, 2015 - Still plateu'd at 25 lbs, but I've kept up the running and have started meal planning. Hopefully it will go away soon.

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Sarah Shepherd said...

Kellie! You are so brave and inspiring for sharing this! I have fluctuated all my life and I can totally relate to looking at old pictures and remember thinking how I thought I was so fat at the time when really I actually wasn't. You can do this girl! Keep it up, you're inspiring me to do the same :)

I've kind of started my own little blog that is helping me eat a little better. Check it out.

Rebecca and Cody said...

Kellie, I love you sharing this, you are such a motivation for me! I have this feeling that weight is the key to combating pcos and getting preggers, but it is so hard! It is inspiring to read your posts and see your progress. Thanks for being freakin' awesome. :)

Kellie said...

Thanks for your comments, guys! It often feels like I'm alone in this but it's comforting to know that no one really is.

Becca, I'm glad it's inspiring you! I'm trying to inspire myself, to be honest. Honestly, if you ever want to come to the gym with me and Kait it's so fun and so liberating. She's a great gym partner.

Rachelle Nicole. said...

Kellie! I love reading your blog! It's very inspirational, I think you can really help others. Keep it up!

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