Saturday, October 13, 2012

The Little Brother Test

Guys. I have this theory.

Let me back it up to the good ol days of 2008. Matt started doggin on me HARD at Jacob Lake, and I was so baffled that a boy smaller (circumference-wise) than me could ever be into me. I'm a curvy lady. He's 6'5" and very slim. I'm used to having no romantic hope for anyone besides football players,. My friends and I even had a joke that I would only date Triple B's (Big Boned Boys)....until Matt.

The first year of dating, I kept wondering how he could ever be attracted to me, and what people thought of us when they saw us in public. I always wondered if we looked like a "normal couple", or if people were wondering about us behind our backs. Yeah, I'm that girl. Then I came up with a theory to validate my obsessive insecurities!

The Little Brother Test


Usually, when a girl dates a boy, the boy has to be at least one of the following three things for the girl to feel feminine enough to date him:



1. Older (in age, or in personality)

2. Bigger
3. Taller


If he's not at least one of these, the girl often feels like she's dating her little brother. 


Since Matt fit #3, we were golden! He was also pretty mature for his age, which helped a lot with #1.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Let's see how celebrities did on the Little Brother Test:

Exhibit A: 


Jennifer Aniston can do whatever she wants. But John Mayer fits the 2nd and 3rd rules, so they can "break" the 1st rule. Bam. Winners. Normal couple.

Exhibit B:


Immortal Cher + Young Tom Cruise. 

Apparently there's a rumor going around that they dated in the 80's? They break #1 AND #2, and this picture looks like the backstage of Tom's high school choir concert and Cher is his mom. It just doesn't work. Un-win.

Exhibit C:



Old Tom Cruise + Brainwashed Katie Holmes.

They are on another planet. Any relationship test you give them, they. will. fail.

Their answer is cat.



I realize that relationships are more than looks. But let's be honest...girls think about bizarre things like this. Now, all I care about is that Matt and I make each other happy; and that trumps and kind of dumb Cosmo test I make up and post on my blog.

But still... Does a relationship have to pass the Little Brother test to make a couple "normal", or am I cray?



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2 comments:

CassieZoo said...

Kyle is a lot thinner than I am and I totally feel ya on feeling feminine and I don't think it's exclusive to women. Men fall victim to deciding whether or not couples "work"--Kyle and I have had this talk :)

Kellies said...

I'm glad we're not the only ones!!

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