Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Oh, life and stuff.

Do you ever have those days where you wake up knowing it'll be like a ringer through hell? There is an aura looming over you, like one of those black rain clouds that follows you around all day. And it's just you. (And by you I mean me). The worst is when everyone else around you seems to be all sunshine and chirping birds. But I guess the difference between you an them is that they know how to deal with their ish on the inside without notifying anyone else that they're slowly going crazy.

I've always had trouble not wearing my heart on my sleeve. The day after my first boyfriend broke up with me, I walked through the halls of my high school like a zombie. My first period teacher even noticed something was wrong enough to pull me aside after class and talk to me. The day I found out I didn't get in to the England study abroad, the waterworks came right in the middle of the Cougareat. When I found out my sister was getting married, I couldn't stop smiling. It's just how I am. I think there are good and bad things to this trait, but today I'm feeling the negative effects of being a person who outwardly shows her feelings. It has gotten me into trouble more than once, and I always immediately regret showing that split second of doubt, hesitation, or disagreeance with something important someone has to say. It always comes back to bite me in the ass, and it's not a good thing. But I'd rather not be a stoic person, so what do you do?

How do you find a happy medium between being too honest and being fake? How do you resolve an issue with someone who thinks the exact opposite of you? How do you stand strong without looking like a bitch? And how to you stay true to yourself in the process?
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wistie said...

i like you just the way you are. i know how you feel, it makes my life easier. the end.

Kellies said...

what makes your life easier?

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