Saturday, September 19, 2015

How Do Adults Make Friends?

I think part of my anxiety attacks stemmed from feeling so lonely here. How does a 27-year-old married Mormon girl with no children make friends? I can't go to a bar or a play group. All the people my age who also share my beliefs have literally 4-6 children here. It's not like I can't be friends with moms, but their priorities and time commitments are understandably different.

How did I make friends before? I guess after I got married I put making new friends at the very bottom of my priority list. It's been that way for a few years, and I guess I got along ok without new friendships in Utah.

But now that we've moved a bunch of times and I try to seek out a more meaningful life, my new ideals suddenly include having smart, fun ladies nearby who I can connect with in person.

I will admit that I'm a weird friend. I tend to only befriend people I truly think are AMAZING, but then I think I smother them and expect too much of them as friends, and then completely cut them out of my life if they don't act the same way or"do me wrong", whatever that means. It's a pattern I am constantly trying to break, as I see that it's unhealthy. It's one of my biggest regrets in life, and I wish I could go back and personally apologize to anyone I ever cut out of my life for any reason. So I could have one million friends right now all over the states, but it turns out I mostly just have ex-friends, and that is my bad.

I have connected with a lot of people on Facebook, people who reach out to me and are amazing and wonderful. Even though I never see these people in person, I truly appreciate their comments on my blog or messages on Facebook.

But I need real-life friends, too! Friends I can go hike with or take a yoga class with. How do people make friends in new places?
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4 comments:

Lydia said...

Once you figure it out, let me in on the secret ;)

Lydia said...

Once you figure it out, let me in on the secret ;)

Melissa Wright said...

Um, I don't know the secret. Is there one? But maybe try things like going to yoga and finding friends there? Do the things you want to do and hopefully find ppl with your interests?

Melissa Wright said...

Oh, and maybe don't put yourself in a friend box. Work on having different groups? I find that's helped me - cause it is hard! I miss having you down the little hall from me, but we just don't get that in our lives now. I find that having different groups has helped fulfill me in different ways. Some ppl I craft with. Some ppl we meet up and go to lunch or shopping. Idk, I'm trying to figure this out too

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