You're probably really sick of seeing the "before" picture, but I like being able to compare. I've been on some good runs since my last post and I'm in good spirits again. I ran 4.5 miles outside with Lola yesterday. That's a feat for outside running! Why is treadmill running so much easier?
I've been listening to Wild while I run and it really let's me run so much longer because I don't get bored. It's been fun to explore areas of south Provo I've never been to. I was grumpy yesterday and came home so energized and happy, too.
I went to my doctor this month for an ultrasound. Last month was blood work month. He told me my blood work came back normal, which means my hormone levels are good. What a relief! I really thought they'd be way off. Yay yay yay! He also said that this month I have a very good chance of conceiving since a few of my follicles are large. So please pray for us that everything works this time around!
If I'm not pregnant by next month he said we'll have to check if my tubes are blocked. They have to inject some dye into my tubes and see if everything's working alright. After that, it's IUI :/
He was surprisingly not phased by the fact that I'm moving away for 5 months (I didn't tell him it might be a year or more!) He said it's actually a good break for my body to flush out all the medication and reset. He told me not to worry about getting pregnant while I was gone and that I'll probably come home pregnant.
That's what he always says..."You'll probably be pregnant next month". I don't ever really believe him because it's been 2 years of hoping for "next month" and I can't hold out that kind of immediate hope anymore. I have long-term hope, but the immediate hope just makes me sad when it doesn't work out. Let's hope he's right and I do get pregnant naturally just by getting healthy.
I just pray that my exercise kick stays strong for a long time. I pray that I can get my eating under control because I am NOT eating healthy right now...just doing portion control. I pray that my future kids know how hard I'm working to get them down here and that they are very very wanted. I pray that anyone going through infertility finds peace and joy in the journey. And I pray with gratitude that I am not going through anything worse than infertility, because right now it feels like something I can handle with God's help. And that in itself is a blessing.
5 comments:
Love how you said you want your babies to know how hard you're working to get hem here. Such a beautiful thought. I feel like when you've got a crabby little you'll be quicker to remember to cherish them.
Also, I really love how much you are showing God your hand. You're doing the work and following God's plan. I know he's going to bless you. Good luck this month!! I want to buy you baby gear :)
:D:D:D:D<3<3<3<3<3
You are awesome, you know that? And I feel ya on the "it's difficult to get excited each month". I finally decided after months and months of thinking "this could be the month!" to just thinking it wouldn't be and then I wasn't disappointed. Sounds so pessimistic I know, but that is what I had/have to do to protect myself emotionally. But I will be sending prayers your way that this IS the month for you!!!! Love you!
Yeah it's too emotionally draining to have that hope for two weeks every month. I can't do it anymore! I just can't do it. It really does protect you emotionally to just keep on trucking, and if you get pregnant it's the best surprise EVERRRRRR. Love you, too, Becca!
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