Saturday, August 29, 2015

On Setbacks and Slack

Well I've come full circle and my motivation is completely gone. When we moved home, I was working out with my mom 3x a week, but that literally was just to not gain 15 lbs. It's this funny habit I have whenever I stay home for any long period of time. I gain weight. It's just the way it is. 

I was fighting for my current weight, and I actually kinda lost because I gained 5 lbs while I was there. I gained 5 lbs even after working out 3x a week and walking the dogs a ton! Food, man. Why is it so easy to overeat 1,000 calories, but so hard to eat a deficit of 500? 

I was just about to write, "Food will always be my enemy", but I realized that's not true anymore. Food USED to be my enemy. It was that fair weather friend that made me feel good for a little bit, but horrible about myself later. But I have since changed my relationship with food. Now it's fuel. Now it gives me nutrients and energy and joy. But it is something that I will always struggle eating too much of. Always. And I've accepted that. 

For me, the key to not overeating is being busy. If I'm busy, I don't "boredom eat". But guess what? I'm here in Washington, we have one car, Matt's gone all day at work, I work from home, and I'm bored. We're in that weird transition period where we no almost literally no one here, and we have zero money because Matt wasn't working and we have hella hospital bills, and we just stay at home all day. So yeah, I'm gonna be bored. 

But I looked back at a post I wrote a few months ago when Past Me had the forethought to realize that Now Me would be a 0 on the motivation scale. Past Me knows Now Me so well, girl. And she said this:

"I will do it. I will lose the weight. I will get to my goal. I will finish strong. I will do everything I can

to make that happen. I will forgive myself for having setbacks because I'm human. I will follow Dolvett's mantra, Hard Work & Dedication. I will cut myself some slack. I will put the work in. I will rest when I need to. No matter what happens, I will get healthy. "

There it is. That's my motivation. I had my rest, but I'm working out on Monday! And I'm giving myself some slack, because this summer was adventurous and amazing and such a learning experience, but IT. WAS. HARD. 

A setback is not a defeat. A setback is a crossroads where you determine if you're going to become stronger or give up. And I choose to become stronger.

Who's with me? 

PS I've decided that hiking is my BFF.
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David Zincke said...

Kellie, you can do it! I also have historically had a very unhealthy relationship with food. A little over two months ago, I decided it was the same thing you described. It is fuel to make me strong. Remember how the family wanted to do a sugar fast a while ago? Well since I am stubborn, I didn't do it then, but I haven't really eaten any processed sugars / desserts for over two months now on my own and without any silly competitions. It is for me! During this time, I have enjoyed a complete lack of "need" or any real hunger and I can only think it may have something to do with that. Avoiding the blood sugar spikes and all has probably helped curb what I used to feel as hunger all the time. I checked this morning and it shows me down 43 lbs overall and with the weightlifting Char and I have both been doing that has to be over 50 lbs of fat. That seems crazy to me, but that's what it is in 2.5 months. You can kick this thing. I know it! We are cheering for you all the way from AZ. Good luck to you.

Lydia said...

So, my sister lives probably about 30-45 minutes from you. I know how hard it can be feeling like you don't know anyone in an area, and I know that's still a bit far since you don't have a car during the day, but if you'd like, I can get you in touch with her.
Also, if you haven't checked out the Nisqually wildlife refuge, you should. It should be too far from you I don't think, and its beautiful.

Lydia said...
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Job and Rachael said...

Thank you!! I needed to read this this morning. A lot of it I felt like I could have written. Here's to cutting ourselves some slack and getting back on it! You are awesome.

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