Do you ever feel like you're not fit for the title you are given or you put on yourself? I have an amazing teacher this semester in a class that's teaching me how to become an art teacher. We had a discussion today that shook my foundation a little bit. He was talking about curriculum: what it is, how teachers define it differently, and that he thinks it's the whole learning experience, not just a lesson plan or what goes on in class. He showed us things that his AP high school art students had done, and they were better than anything I've ever done. He said that you have to be a pro at at least one thing. Well, what if you're not a pro at...anything? People always ask me what my favorite medium in art is. My mind always goes blank. THAT SHOULDN'T HAPPEN.
I have never really been comfortable being called an "artist," since I don't do it in my free time, I usually like to follow prompts, and I don't live and breathe creating pieces. I enjoy beautiful things, I love going to art museums, I like creating things like journals, scrapbooks on occasion, and other activities like that. But I don't sit down and make what someone would call "art." So isn't that a sign that this isn't the profession for me? Or am I putting the title in a box, when I really should be defining being an art teacher for myself, to fit my personality?
I think I'm just freaking out because I observe teachers who have this DOWN. But I often forget that they have been doing this for years, some decades. I am in my second year of the program. The scriptures say that the Lord will increase our knowledge "line upon line, precept upon precept." But sometimes it's hard to step into that great unknown when you're not sure that this is the right thing for you. I guess it's just a real-life lesson on faith. Maybe I need to have more of it. God has never let me down before, why should He now?
My dad always tells me the same thing when I tell him my worries. I think it was a quote his grandmother used to say to him. "Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it gets you nowhere."
4 comments:
haha i love that quote from your dad/his grandmother. and i love your blog! i totally don't think you're stalking me. i love it when people read my blog and comment. also, sweet news about maureen! how exciting!
i love when people read and comment, too! glad we're in agreeance..and i'm super excited to be an aunt! she still has like six months to go. it's going to be a long wait.
You'll make a great art teacher. You love art. you appreciate art. You want to share this love and appreciation, even though you're not the most artsy-fartsy (we all know you're pretty fartsy, it's the artsy part that's up for debate) person in the world. That's how you enrich little childeren's lives and help artists be artists. Don't worry about it. I belieeeeeeeve in you, K-baby!!!!
PS--TWO posts today. Read your heart out.
wow - i REALLY like that quote. very profound. :) and just pray about the career thing. paul was on the english teaching track and we prayed about it and felt he should change it to better suit his culture/media tastes and he graduated in public relations and it was the best choice he ever made (besides marrying me of course). :)
Post a Comment